Marriage Building Tips

Marriage Building in Manhattan Kansas
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Kyle and I are pretty excited about this ‘mini-marriage building weekly series’ on five practical tips for keeping your marriage healthy and strong.  Please note we are NOT marriage experts(are there such people?) nor are we counselors.  We are the first to admit that we do not have it all together, and therefore our marriage is not perfect, but we are comfortable saying that we’ve learned a few things about marriage in our short 6.5 years.  So for this February’s ‘love month’ we wanted to impart some of what we’ve learned, some things we’ve practiced religiously since we got married and some things we’ve just started implementing in the recent years and months.  Many of these things don’t come easy to us, but some we cherish and make them priority.  Again, however we are NOT perfect and we fail one another daily, but we each know that we are saved by grace and therefore impart grace to one another…as best we can :).  Now for marriage building tip number one:

‘Those that go to bed together, stay together.’

1. Go to bed at the same time

Obviously, I’m not going to make any claims and say that this quote is entirely accurate, but in our marriage we have made going to bed at the same time a high priority from day one.  In discussing the importance of this practice we came up with a few reasons why making this a priority in your marriage is critical.

*Disclaimer: we understand that this isn’t always doable because of work schedules and travel*

It Unifies

The word unify means to make or become united, uniform, or whole.  Being or becoming married you are now one, whole in nature.  There is really nothing more unifying than the act of marriage and the marriage bed.  Kyle and I have found that keeping that ‘one-ness’ in the forefront of our minds as we decide to ‘call it a day’  allows our hearts to be more settled and at peace for what the day held and what tomorrow brings.  The stress, worries, and responsibilities of that day begin to calm when unity and understanding is upheld and cherished.

It Allows for Intimacy

Let’s be honest.  Intimacy in marriage is hard work, especially once you throw kids into the mix.  And being intimate doesn’t always mean ‘sex’ either.  Although, that’s a plus ;).  What we have found in deciding to go to bed at the same time is that it allows for doors to be opened in sharing vulnerability and honesty, therefore creating an atmosphere of love, welcome, and peace.  Kyle and I share our deepest, honest, and most intimate conversations while snuggled in bed together and we love it!  That connection is key in allowing intimacy to be formed and experience growth.

It Is Sacrificial.

Going to bed at the same time isn’t always exciting, believe it or not.  At the beginning of our marriage Kyle wasn’t always ready to go to bed when I wanted to go to bed.  He would, of course, but that wasn’t always easy for him to do.  It was a sacrifice for him.  And now that I run my own business, from home, it’s a sacrifice for me to stop the editing and the blogging and the emailing.  When we had T.V.(another topic for a another day) Kyle would want to watch the news or a tv show late into the night when all I wanted to do was go to bed or vice versa.  There are a TON of things that can distract you and keep you from going to bed at the same time, but that’s why it’s so critical for you, as one, to weigh the sacrifice.

It Forms Healthy Habits

Having a nightly routine in general is so important for a healthy lifestyle, but the act of going to bed together serves as building consistency and discipline.  We have learned through our marriage and through having children that being consistent with things is so critical to our behavior and our outlook on life.

 The next marriage building tip for February’s ‘love month’ is on the importance of ‘unplugging.’  We are challenged and convicted by this daily, so we are excited to share the steps we’ve taken with you next time on Marriage Building Weekly!

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